The courage not only to write the story you love, but to put it into the world, knowing that not everyone will like it.

In this interview series, called “5 Things You Need To Be A Successful Author or Writer” we are talking to successful authors and writers who can share lessons from their experience.

As part of this series I had the pleasure of interviewing Emily Wolf. Emily is an ardent feminist, U2 fan, and native Chicagoan who now lives in Houston with her husband, children, and dogs. She volunteers with Planned Parenthood Gulf Coast and with her synagogue’s Board of Trustees and Social Justice Core Team. Emily has published several essays in the Houston Chronicle and on emilyvwolf.medium.com.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’ and how you got started?

My pleasure! I love hearing writers’ backstories, too.

Mine is not uncommon in that I am a recovering lawyer. I seriously considered pursuing an MFA in creative writing right after college, but in my early twenties, was too risk-averse to go for it. I went to law school instead because it offered an easier, more direct path to financial independence.

But reading and writing have always been what I’m best at and love most, so I think writing professionally was inevitable for me. And, after (barely) surviving my twenties/early thirties, and having a few years to process them, a story landed in my head that I couldn’t shake. So, I wrote it. Although it took me eons to write (I, like so many women authors, wrote while juggling pregnancies, parenting, paid work, sick pets, moving, making sure our household functioned, etc.), I stuck with it because I wanted to capture women’s lived experiences that I didn’t see adequately represented in fiction. I think this empowers women; this desire continues to drive my writing.

Can you share the most interesting story that occurred to you in the course of your career?

That has to be my current book, My Thirty-First Year (And Other Calamities). It captures all the real, messy stuff of young womanhood — including abortion — that’s largely missing in women’s fiction.

Representing abortion in art has been the challenge of my professional life. Abortion is and will always be a common practice because all humans are conditioned to care for their bodies and wellbeing. Between one-quarter and one-third of American women have them. And yet I met hurdle after hurdle getting this book to print because I dared to write about something that millions of women have experienced. I never would have guessed that My Thirty-First Year would drop in a post-Roe America, and will never get over what SCOTUS has done.

What was the biggest challenge you faced in your journey to becoming a writer? How did you overcome it? Can you share a story about that that other aspiring writers can learn from?

My biggest challenge, by a factor of 17 billion, has been successfully launching a novel that opens with an abortion. The resistance to addressing a critical part of women’s reality in fiction has been both deeply disappointing and relentless. But I knew that women were ready for My Thirty-First Year now, so, instead of waiting for traditional imprints to get with the program, I found an independent feminist press to publish the book. Offering this novel just weeks after SCOTUS overturned Roe feels aligned to me — and validating.

So, to aspiring writers, I say: Tell your stories. Heed the call to say exactly what you need to say, even if it’s hard. If I had put My Thirty-First Year in a drawer and worked on something “less controversial,” I would have felt disingenuous and unsatisfied. So why bother? I think readers have a lot to gain from the stories we are called to tell, even — especially — if the establishment tries to silence us.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Geez, where do I start?! I still laugh about when I proudly handed the first draft of the first 30,000 words of My Thirty-First Year to my husband. He said something like, “Umm, isn’t a novel supposed to have dialogue?”

Yikes.

Those first 30,000 words were nothing more than Zoe’s stream of consciousness. No one spoke! The lesson I learned — other than how freaking hard it is to write a novel — was how clutch it is to read like a writer. I went back to my favorite novels, the ones with dialogue that makes me laugh out loud and sounds natural in my head, and re-read them. Then I just practiced, practiced, and practiced some more, sketching out dialogue and running it by my writing compatriots, until I got the hang of it.

In your opinion, were you a “natural born writer” or did you develop that aptitude later on? Can you explain what you mean?

I kind of hate this answer, because I believe in the power of passion, practice, and grit, but writing has always come naturally to me. I never had to memorize grammar rules in school, for example — I wrote by ear. I think we all have that thing that our soul needs us to do, and prepares us to do. Writing is that thing for me.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now?

I am so excited to take the characters and plot points that have lived in my head for so many years on the road. I can’t wait to engage with my readers, talk with them, and learn from them. I’m also eager to dive back into my second novel — about the power of female friendship from childhood to end-of-life — and finish it early next year. My third book is also taking shape and I’ll give you one spoiler: it involves the paranormal, which I find endlessly fascinating.

Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience, what are the “5 Things You Need To Be A Successful Author or Writer”? Please share a story or example for each.

1. A story you really believe in.

a. Publishing My Thirty-First Year (And Other Calamities) despite the challenges associated with representing abortion in art made me realize that stories not worth fighting for probably aren’t worth telling. So be honest with yourself about whether you really love your story — if you do, you’re on the right track.

2. The courage not only to write the story you love, but to put it into the world, knowing that not everyone will like it.

a. I was nervous to record my first podcast about the book. But I was fortunate enough to be hosted by the truly wonderful Dr. Darian Parker, and soon found myself immersed in a compelling discussion with someone who really got my novel. Something about having that experience helped me let go of other people’s reactions to or feelings about the book. Dr. D. showed me that My Thirty-First Year could bring people joy and intrigue, and that that was enough for me.

3. Perseverance. I know very few writers who have just — voila! — fallen into success. The book business can be slow, dysfunctional, and unkind.

a. I can’t even remember how many query letters I sent to agents from whom I never received a response, or from whom I received a form rejection. Nor can I remember how many publishers failed to even open my manuscript after eagerly responding to my agent’s pitch. Writers really need to get into the “just keep going” mindset as soon as they can.

4. Trust, have faith, and surrender.

a. When your story is finished — when it’s the story it was meant to be — you will know. You will also know when it needs to make its way into the world. Trust these instincts and have faith that your story will find its audience. And surrender to the fact that whether and when your story “hits” is largely out of your control. I had to work hard to do these three things (trust, have faith, and surrender), but, because I trusted my instincts, my book that opens with an abortion is dropping at the exact right time.

5. Someone who loves you and sees what you can be.

a. I would never have believed I could write a book, much less become a working writer, had my husband not expressed steadfast confidence that I could do both these things. We are all so hard on ourselves. So, when the inevitable rejections and disappointments come, go to someone you’ll believe when he tells you to keep going.

What is the one habit you believe contributed the most to you becoming a great writer? (i.e. perseverance, discipline, play, craft study). Can you share a story or example?

Being a busy-ass woman. I did not get to procrastinate or be too precious about anything about this book — writing it, shopping it, selling it — because I am a modern American woman, which means I don’t have time to do anything but make things happen.

Which literature do you draw inspiration from? Why?

There are so many writers and books that inspire me. But if I had to narrow it down, the feminist author I admire most is Caitlin Moran. She writes honestly about womanhood and doesn’t hold anything back — not even precisely how much water falls out of her vagina after she takes a bath — and manages to do so with respect, righteous anger, kindness, hilarity, and wit. She expects better from the world for women and, in so doing, inspires us all to expect better for ourselves. I adore her.

You are a person of enormous influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I would make abortion safe, legal, free, and supportive for all people who can get pregnant, and I’d enlist all genders in this movement.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

https://www.emilywolfbooks.com/

https://www.facebook.com/EmilyWolfAuthor/

https://www.instagram.com/emilywolfpaperbackwriter/

https://twitter.com/emilywolfauthor

Thank you so much for this. This was very inspiring!