"Stay focused on your mission and determine what you do well that no one else can do" with Dara Connolly

Dara Connolly is the author of the new book Flip Your Fear and founder of PTC™ – an award-winning confidence program that has trained over 10,000 women. Dara helps women who are tired of getting talked over or feeling ignored– Speak to be heard, kick Fear to the curb– be TEDx confident!💥 

Can you tell our readers about your background?

When I was young I was a shy, introverted wallflower–  I didn’t participate in anything! And that is no exaggeration. After many years of living in fear, my mom noticed I was struggling and tried to help me come out of my shell.

One day she drove me downtown to sign me up for dance lessons. Now, you have to understand I was not very dainty or coordinated so dance would not have been a great fit. Mom was determined. She drove me downtown to the dance studio when I was 10 years old to sign me up.

Luckily, the universe intervened.

When we arrived at the dance studio, they had closed for business.

I was ecstatic.

Out of desperation, mom looked up and saw a karate school across the street. She said, “Dara do you want to take karate? You can kick and punch your brother!” Now normally my shyness would have prevented me from signing up for any classes at all– but getting an opportunity to beat up my older and much stronger brother was too tempting… I quickly said, “Sign me up!”

After several years of training in martial arts, I not only earned my black belt but was also promoted to one of the head instructors at my karate school. However, there was still a problem. There was no requirement in a karate class to talk. I only had to yell the occasional word “Kia!” to show strength and power. This meant, I never properly learned how to overcome my shyness. I felt like a walking anomaly. Here I had the high honor and achievement of 1st Dan Black Belt and can “appear” to be a confident warrior yet, inside I still felt like a timid worrier.

For the next several years, I kept my black belt a secret from friends and never planned on telling anyone about it ever again.

Yet the universe had other plans.

After college where I studied Science and Women’s Studies, I struggled to find the right corporate job that was a fit for me. When I worked as a scientist, I felt frustrated when I was often talked over, mansplained, or had my ideas stolen in male-dominated companies. When I worked in sales, I felt demoralized when my voice wasn’t heard at meetings or when male colleagues made sexists remarks.

I soon realized I was invisible.

In every job, one after the other I had good ideas and a strong intention to contribute but time and time again I felt unseen, unheard, and un-respected.

After my last corporate lay off I decided it was time for a change. I decided no more corporate jobs, this time I want to go into business for myself.

I grew up the youngest in a 3-generation family of entrepreneurs so I thought– why not?

At the time, I was living in Berkeley and the small house we were rented had a huge detached garage. I thought about the skills that I can offer and decided the quickest way for me to make money would be to go back to teaching karate. I was living 3,000 miles from when I first received my black belt so maybe this time I can get a redo. No one needs to know if I feel self-doubt.

Out of my garage, I started not only teaching karate but had also created a new program for girls and women. I wanted us, girls, to have a safe space to address the issues of workplace bullying and sexism that we all experienced. I promoted my classes with flyers on telephone poles and in local businesses. The idea to begin teaching classes again was on a Friday. My first students were that following Monday.

Within a few weeks, my classes were booming. Within a few months, I had secured grants and partnerships. The need for this program was beyond anything I could have foreseen.

The start of my success took me by surprise.

One day I received a phone call from the chief of the local police department. As soon as he introduced himself I panicked. I thought he was calling to tell me that I broke a city ordinance and can no longer teach classes out of my garage. Clearly, there must be rules about this sort of thing! He must be calling to tell me that I would need to cease operation immediately.

But no!

The chief of police called to tell me that he had heard about the amazing women’s classes I was offering and that he and the police department wanted to partner with me. What?!

I nearly fell off my chair.

Together with the Albany Police Department and I began a partnership to teach classes for women. I never felt more called to do any other work in my life. Watching the women I was serving to begin to realize they have a voice and to use it was the most rewarding work I could ever do.

I knew this was the beginning of finding my purpose.

What inspired you to start your business?

I started my business out of the frustration of being mistreated in the corporate world. One too many sexist’s jokes, misogynistic comments, and over-qualified promotions that I was passed over for became too much.

Where is your business based?

Today my business is based out of my home office in northern California. As a mobile speaker, I can travel anywhere around the world to speak to women. I am also proud to say I am a certified virtual presenter and can offer programs virtually. This allows me to continue to reach many more women around the world and add to the already 10,000 women that I have served.  

How did you start your business? What were the first steps you took?

In the beginning, I knew that if I wanted to make a real impact I would need to master the art of public speaking. I first started taking classes with Toastmasters International to get over my nerves about speaking. In Toastmasters, I devoured the information.

Within a few months, I was entering Toastmasters speech contests and competing at the Division level. After one year, I was asked to serve as President of my Presidents’ Distinguished club– it was quite an honor!

The next phase of my business was to learn the business side of speaking. This then led me to the National Speakers Association (NSA). I completed their rigorous 9-month course in the Speaker’s Academy to learn all the behind-the-scenes details to become a paid speaker.

This community of NSA has some of the best speakers in the industry and begin surrounded by this exceptional group pushes me to up my game at every level.

The next step I took was to hire a business coach. I wanted to be sure I was setting up my business correctly from the beginning. I heard from friends how much time and money this decision could save and it was a crucial next step for me. 

What has been the most effective way of raising awareness for your business?

I would have to say writing my Flip Your Fear book and being invited to speak on TEDx.

The TED stage is a distinguished honor in the speaking world and it was a lofty goal I had reserved for some time in the future. When I wrote Flip Your Fear, the message in the book resonated with TED curators so much that the book ended up getting me invited to speak on four TEDx stages. That was more than I could handle at the time. Being a part of TEDx was great learning and was instrumental in bringing awareness of my work to many more people.

What have been your biggest challenges and how did you overcome them?

There are always challenges that come up along the way and I’ve learned to swerve with them. In the beginning, my biggest challenge was personal– to overcome my fear of speaking. After I started taking time to speak on as many stages as possible, I noticed the fear was no longer debilitating. I was able to channel my fear into energy and that helped me a lot.

Another challenge was learning how to deal with impostor syndrome. At every point in my journey, the impostor was there to tell me “I’m not good enough” or that “I can’t do it.” Similar to how I handle fear today, I would address the feelings of self-doubt and say “not today fear, I’m going to do this anyway. My dream is too big!”

How do you stay focused?

My purpose is bigger than any obstacle that tries to derail me. I will never forget the days I felt small, silenced, or shut down from misogyny or sexism– and I know I am not the only one. I can still remember the look on the face of a teen “friend” who tried to put his hands all over me when I was trapped in his car, or the corporate executive who pinned me against a wall to try and kiss me, or the female boss who took it upon herself to bully and embarrass me. These people are not going to change but it is up to us to learn how to handle them with confidence.

When I think of the many other women who are still facing these inequalities daily– whether it’s in the home or at work– I am motivated and focused to give them a voice and teach them to speak up.

How do you differentiate your business from the competition?

As a black belt martial artist, I have the added advantage of knowing how to handle verbal and physical abuse as well as the training to teach women body language confidence. Yes, there are other confidence coaches in the world but I can’t think of anyone who specializes in assertiveness with body confidence and who has the special knowledge of knowing how to take your skills to the next level– whether it be an influencer, TEDx speaker, or professional speaker.

What has been your most effective marketing strategy to grow your business?

I don’t think of it as a marketing strategy but more of a personal intention and that is to connect with everyone I meet. When I get a new coaching client, I am interested in their lives and how I can best help them. The more I can connect with them on a personal level the better I can transform their lives– and that is priceless in business.

What's your best piece of advice for aspiring and new entrepreneurs?

Stay focused on your mission and determine what you do well that no one else can do. You may have to dig deep to uncover this. Then, you will want to hire a great business coach to help give you direction so you don’t waste too much time or money heading down the wrong path.

What's your favorite app, blog, and book? Why?

I love the new Clubhouse app! It has been a game-changer in helping me meet new people around the world and connect with others– not just for business but I’ve met many wonderful friends on there as well.

There are so many great books!

I love to combine practical advice: my favorites are 5-Second Rule Mel Robbins, High Performers Habits Brendan Bouchard, audio-series by Tony Robbins with esoteric principles:  (Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles, Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne) and so many others!

Who is your business role model? Why?

I often think of this and am always adding to my list:

Mel Robbins for her courage to try new things in business. She went from being a Psychology major to a business lawyer, CNN analyst to talk show host, to now one of the highest-paid female speakers in the world.

Oprah for her honesty and integrity to always being herself in whatever situation she is in. Ever since I was little I was inspired by Oprah. Her story from hardship to success is incredible and reminds us all that we really can achieve anything we set our mind to.

Ellen Degeneres for her ability to include kindness, compassion, and humor into everything we do. I think it’s too easy to take ourselves and our work too seriously and if we want to truly enjoy the journey we have to remember to laugh at ourselves, be kind to everyone along the way, and have an attitude of gratitude and humbleness for what we receive.

How do you balance work and life?

I allow moments for downtime to play or enjoy my kids. When my children were babies I will never forget the maternity nurse who told me “try to spend 10 minutes a day with your baby”.  I remember thinking just 10 minutes? Cleary she must have misspoken! But what that has taught me is to focus on quality time– not quantity.

I am good at scheduling breaks into my day that cannot be scheduled for work. Also, I never work on the weekends or vacation, unless there is a last-minute project such as a book that I need to finish.

What’s your favorite way to decompress?

Spending time in nature, doing yoga, or with animals! Every moment I have free, I can be found enjoying the outdoors either hiking or walking my dog, swimming, doing yoga, or napping in the sunshine.

What do you have planned for the next six months?

Hmm… I am excited to bring new women into my inner circle. My Mastermind is a growing community of women who meet each week and it is always an exciting evolution of the women in the group. I also plan on doing more in-person speaking events as we move out from the pandemic and back into the world.

How can our readers connect with you?

Feel free to find me at www.DaraConnolly.com and if you are on the Clubhouse app you are welcome to join our free rooms which are held every Tuesday at 10 am PT.

I am also on:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/%E2%AD%90%EF%B8%8F-dara-connolly-50b05556/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dara_connolly_speaker/?hl=en

And Facebook http://tinyurl.com/ptcfacebookgroup