"Be fearless. All the doubt in your head can take a walk," with Dr. Lauren Cook, PsyD

Dr. Lauren Cook, PsyD has a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology and Master’s of Marriage and Family Therapy. She is a clinician working with individuals, couples, children, and families and she helps clients improve their communication while enhancing emotional closeness. She speaks around the country providing audiences with education about mental health and wellbeing. She is the author of Name Your Story: How to Talk Openly About Mental Health and The Sunny Side Up: Celebrating Happiness.

Can you tell our readers about your background?

One of the beauties of being a therapist, speaker, and author is that I get to do a little bit of everything. I am about to start my postdoctoral training where I’ll be working with the Claremont schools’ students. In my free time though, I’m speaking with corporations, universities, and organizations to provide guidance on mental health training while teaching people how to identify and integrate a values-based life. I’ve also developed an online curriculum for people to learn how make decisions efficiently and effectively since I see so many clients struggle to make purposeful choices in their lives (i.e. Do I stay in that relationship or end it? Do I take that job, stay, or leave it?)

What inspired you to start your business? 

When I was in college at UCLA, I was seeing how many students were stressed beyond belief. There are real effects from this stress as well. In fact, 12 students in our country die every day by suicide. This generation has also inherited the challenges of global warming, an opioid epidemic, and years of apparent and hidden social injustice. Because of this, I felt compelled to provide support to this community and wanted to become a therapist. I decided to pursue my doctorate in Clinical Psychology at Pepperdine University. Becoming a therapist and support students in their journey is my greatest gift. I don’t take the privilege lightly and I am humbled to be on the road to becoming a psychologist.

Where is your business based?

I’m above to move to Pasadena this August and will be completing my postdoctoral training at the Claremont Colleges. From there, I plan to have a private practice in San Marino.

How did you start your business? What were the first steps you took? 

I never wanted my age to stop me from being brave. When I was 18, I read Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project, and immediately felt inspired by her story. I thought to myself, "Why not reach out to her and see if she'd like to write a teen edition of The Happiness Project with me?" My inner critic told me I was too young to write a book. Who would think I had anything of value to say? But even with my fear, from my dorm room bunk bed, I emailed Gretchen to make my offer. She wrote back in about an hour that she wasn’t interested. I appreciated that she wrote me back all the same!

From this, it spurred a fire in me. I learned that just because someone says no to me, it doesn’t mean that I have to say no to myself. So I started writing and asking my peers what happiness meant to them. Writing my first book became my passion project all throughout college and right before I graduated, my very own book, The Sunny Side Up, was published. Holding it in my hands for the first time was unforgettable.

What has been the most effective way of raising awareness for your business?

Being amongst community has been key to building awareness of my curriculum and business that I’ve developed. Instagram has been such a great space to connect with fellow therapists and people who are advocates for mental health. I commit to spending 30 minutes day speaking with colleagues and mental health changemakers through Instagram because it’s a great way to connect not just locally, but internationally as well. 

What have been your biggest challenges and how did you overcome them?

Rejection is a natural part of the journey. I actually welcome rejection because it means I’m trying. It’s a sign that I’m putting myself out there. My first rejection came when Gretchen Rubin turned me down on my book offer. But I decided to let this “no” be the fuel that got my fingers to start and keep typing my own book. It really came full circle for me when I was asked to speak at a national conference and they told me that they were choosing between myself or Gretchen Rubin to keynote their event. To even be considered in the same line-up as her felt like such an honor. That conference ended up choosing me to speak and it turned out to be one of the biggest “yes” opportunities that I’ve gotten thus far. All because I had the courage to write that book and make her rejection into something meaningful. 

My second and third rejection came when I applied to be a speaker with an agency that primarily works with universities. At first, they told me I was too young and my message wasn’t developed enough yet. The second time, they told me that the other candidates were better qualified. I could have easily hung my hat up and said, “Maybe it’s just not meant to be.” But no. My heart told me to keep going. I applied a third time and what do you know, I have now been signed with that speaking agency for over four years. I’ve been able to speak at universities across the country, promoting a message of mental health and teaching students how to ask for help. If I had given up, the thousands of students who needed to hear that information may not have heard it. 

I’m sure there are more rejections coming. I hope for them. They are grounding yet motivating to keep on keeping on. It’s all about our perspective on the struggle and I see them as the opportunities that teach me profound lessons. 

How do you stay focused? 

I always start my day with a to-do list and I use that to propel me throughout the day. I wear a lot of different hats a therapist, author, and speaker. Typically, my day includes some sessions of therapy and coaching, maybe doing a (virtual) speaking event, and I try to spend at least a half hour each day reading a book or learning something new. Building in self-care is essential, too so I try to incorporate at least a 30 minute walk, a hot bath, and cooking dinner. All the while cuddling my Siamese cat, Mochi throughout the day!

How do you differentiate your business from the competition?

That’s a really tough question because I’m much more into collaboration. I really do believe there is room for all of us to thrive. I’ve existed from a competitive space and it’s exhausting. I constantly feel inadequate and it hinders my creativity. When I instead choose to see my “competitors” as potential collaborators, it completely shifts my energy and my approach to my work. 

What has been your most effective marketing strategy to grow your business?

There truly is something to be said for building your community. I really try to take the time to get to know each and every one of my followers. I send them a personalized message once they follow my page. People care about being a part of the community we are creating because I am actively welcoming them in and continually to develop relationships with them. 

What's your best piece of advice for aspiring and new entrepreneurs?

Be fearless. All the doubt in your head can take a walk. Some of my best work came from the thought, “Who cares?” Reach out to people who inspire you, create content on a regular basis, and commitment to learning something new for at least a half hour each day. 

What's your favorite app, blog, and book? Why? 

My favorite app is MoodKit because it’s a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tool that I use with clients to help them identify their cognitive distortions. I have to be honest that I’m not reading too many blogs lately but that’s probably because I can’t get enough good books. I just read Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb and I thought it was absolutely wonderful. 

What's your favorite business tool or resource? Why?

I love Canva! It brings such a professional polish to my presentations and its so incredibly user friendly. I also love the MixCaptions app for adding captions to my videos in a short amount of time.

Who is your business role model? Why?

My friend and fellow speaker, Jess Ekstrom, is such an inspiration to me. She’s the same age as I am and seeing how she fearlessly goes for her goals inspires me to do the same. I also see her defining the word “pivot.” When her in-person Chasing the Bright Side Conference got cancelled due to COVID-19, she changed it to a virtual event and ended up getting thousands more people to join in than would have been at the initial in-person conference. And then she turned her experience into a curriculum! That entrepreneurial spirit is inspiring.

How do you balance work and life?

Being home with COVID has been really nice for helping me regain perspective on what really matters to me. The key is setting boundaries and I'd be lying to you if I told you that I've mastered it thus far. I want to say "yes" to people because I want to be able to offer help. But I also know that when I say "no" to some, it allows me the chance to say "yes" to what I truly value. I know I never regret this, but it definitely takes practice. 

What’s your favorite way to decompress?

I love a good cup of tea. English Breakfast in the morning and Peppermint tea at night have become such rituals of peace for me.

What do you have planned for the next six months? 

You’re also catching me as I’m about to launch a major brand shift. For the past five years, many people have hired me to speak as “The Sunny Girl” where I have focused primarily on happiness and positive psychology. I even wore a yellow dress every time I spoke! Yes, I have at least 10 yellow dresses at this point—I should count! And while I still love these tenets of how to appreciate joy in our lives, my new brand as Dr. Lauren Cook is all about fostering wellness and building a meaningful life. I’m also planning to start a private practice in Pasadena in the next year and the hope is that I can continue working with clients individually while still speaking (whether virtually or on the road).

How can our readers connect with you?

I’m really active on Instagram so feel free to drop a comment or hop into my DMs and I’d love to chat with you. I also offer coaching to clients who are interested in developing their own entrepreneurial efforts so if this is something you’re ready to do, send me an email to lauren@drlaurencook.com. I look forward to connecting with you!