"Reframe the negative self-talk with 'I can…'messages" with Michelle Noyes

"Reframe the negative self-talk with 'I can…'messages" with Michelle Noyes

Michelle Noyes is a rising mediator in the South Denver Metropolitan area.  Michelle believes in helping people navigate life’s most difficult problems, empowering people to build options that fit their unique situation, and setting people on a path out of conflict.  She loves working with non-profit organizations, families in crisis, businesses, and consumers, and of course her own family. (Much to their dismay).  She enjoys connecting with people in her community and connecting with nature in Colorado.

Can you tell our readers about your background?

Recently I decided that I wanted to at 47, or was it 46, that I wanted to change careers. For years I had taught preschool, kindergarten, and before that fourth and fifth grade.  In addition to all those years of teaching, I have raised two adult children and we are still working on a third.  So, what is the new career you ask?  Mediation.

Mediation or alternative dispute resolution is the process of facilitating a conversation between disputing parties, developing options, and writing an agreement.

What inspired you to start your business?

So why go from teaching to mediation.  Well, I have the uncanny ability to see most situations from both sides without judgment.  My husband says that I can see both sides of a situation to a fault. So much so, that he cannot stand my questions into his opinions, or that I fact check his ideas. 

Being able to see many perspectives may have gotten me started in mediation, but the reward from mediation is so much more.  Mediation is like fishing in a way.  You are constantly throwing out hard meaningful questions looking for the interests right below the surface of the water.  Interests are what drive the issues of a dispute like a breach of trust, unfair or disrespectful treatment, or unspoken desires. Once the interests are above the surface, the mediator can help reel in the solutions for the problems.  One of the hardest parts of being a mediator is not giving people their idea for a solution but allowing the participants to create their own solutions.

Where is your business based?

I am serving the Littleton/South Metro Denver area.  However, with zoom, I can reach out to people in conflict all over Colorado and even the country.

How did you start your business? What were the first steps you took?

I started my business with education. I took the basic 40-hour mediation course, did an internship, took more mediation classes, read so many books, listened to business podcasts, and signed up with a business coach.

What has been the most effective way of raising awareness for your business?

The most effective marketing strategy has been knowing my audience and telling them how I can guide them out of life’s most challenging problems.  Of course, social media is key, and knowing where your audience spends most of their time.

What have been your biggest challenges and how did you overcome them?

Like a lot of entrepreneurs, I suffer from imposter syndrome, which is the feeling that I doubt my skills and accomplishments. When first starting, it would paralyze me, and I could not move forward.  Here is a tool that helped me overcome impostor syndrome. I would write down these 4 steps: 

1.) Label the negative message that I was telling myself.

            I cannot run a business by myself.

2.) Label the feeling that specific feeling(s) that accompanied the message

            Overwhelmed, small, incapable

3.) Ask myself if the message was truthful (usually was not)

            Maybe, but you can seek help from a mentor, business coach, and webinars.

4.) Reframe the negative self-talk with “I can…” messages.

            I can learn to run a business.  It will take many small steps.

I still suffer from imposter syndrome, but not nearly as much.  This tool has worked well for me.

How do you stay focused?

Staying focused is another huge challenge for me.  I have a twelve-year-old still at home during this pandemic season, work another job, mediate in volunteer cases, manage the house and I have started a business. To be honest, some weeks, I am super focused, and I work hard at my business.  Other weeks, I can barely check my email.  I consistently write in my daily goal and gratitude journal.  I volunteer to mediate with several organizations between my paid mediations to keep my skills sharp and to keep up my desire for more mediations. I work bi-weekly with a business coach to ask technical questions and set goals.

What's your favorite app, blog, and book? Why?

A couple of free apps that I like are Calendly for scheduling consultations and mailerlite for creating email blasts.  I love Canva because it has templates to make Facebook posts modern and creative.  A book that I love is Story Brand by Donald Miller.  He is such a master at marketing!

Who is your business role model? Why?

My business role model is my first mediation teacher, Monica Lichtenberger.  She started mediation in the 1980s but is now one of the most influential mediators in Colorado and she has one of the only mediator training facilities in Colorado.  She is a genuine and generous person that not only runs an amazing business but that gives back to her alumna.

How do you balance work and life?

Work/Life balance is tricky for me.  I am a full-time mom to a twelve year at home, two college students, two dogs, and I have a husband.  I keep a color-coded calendar and make sure that all my bases are covered. I also have a goal of meeting with a friend at least once a week to catch up and talk. This is super important to my sanity.

What’s your favorite way to decompress?

Dispute and conflict are filled with toxic, negative emotions. So, it is so important that I decompress with meditation, exercise with weight training and walking, and coffee talk with my husband.  I also try to do something creative a few times a week.

What do you have planned for the next six months?  

In the next six months, I plan to continue mediation with individual parties, and I am working with a non-profit organization to help train their volunteers on basic strategies for dispute resolution.  I would love to work with small businesses on how to transition back to full force after the pandemic with open conversation and problem-solving.

How can our readers connect with you?

 michelle@peak-resolution.com

 https://www.facebook.com/michellenoyes11

 https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-noyes/