"Obstacles will come but make sure you aren’t your own roadblock" with Azia M. Tisdale

Credit Photo by SnowDay Dallas

Azia (pronounced Asia) is a Matchmaker and Relational Goal Coach at Fire & Desire Matchmaking. She started Fire & Desire Matchmaking to not only help people find love through matchmaking, but to make sure they are prepared for love through coaching, and to give them the tools and resources needed to keep that love alive and well. In addition to training at Matchmaking Institute and becoming a certified matchmaker, she has also received training at Transformation Academy to become a life coach and is currently a student in Dallas, Texas working on her Masters in Counseling with a concentration in Family & Marriage Therapy. Love and relationships are her biggest passions!

• Can you tell our readers about your background?

I have been passionate about love and relationships since I was a little girl. I believed that having the right person beside you added something extra special to your life and that was evident in the relationships I saw in my family. I set out to learn as much as I possibly could about love by reading books and majoring in Psychology and African-American studies (if I could have majored in Love I would’ve). My goal was to take the knowledge I learned about the psychology of relationships and Black History and apply it to Black communities to help increase the rate of healthy marriages (or long-term relationships) and decrease the rate of divorces to help improve Black communities. I decided it was important to further my education and am currently working on my Master’s in Counseling with a concentration in Family & Marriage Therapy where I hope to be graduating in May of 2023. I launched my Matchmaking business in February of 2022 because I recognized a need to help unite people through love.

• What inspired you to start your business?

The community in which I grew up, although positive, did not have a lot of romantic love. I knew it was something that was desired, but many didn’t know how to obtain it. I’ve never pretended to have all the answers to what love is or how to find love, but I wanted to find a way to help. I didn’t want people to feel ashamed for wanting to be loved, because I recognize that we are social creatures who desire something deeper than community, but partnership. My dream was to help all the people that desired this partnership to find it and that’s when I realized that matchmaking was something that still happens today!

• Where is your business based?

My business is based in Dallas, Texas, however I do not just work with people in Dallas. Healthy and happy relationships can be found all over. I may partner a client from Dallas with someone from Atlanta. Technology allows us to connect with people from all over the world and even engage in virtual dates.

• How did you start your business? What were the first steps you took?

Once I recognized my desire to become a matchmaker, I read a book on starting your own matchmaking business (called “Matchmaking – Create Your Own Business” by Caroline Brealey). With that information, I started working on my business plan, writing everything down in my “Magic Journal”. Then I enrolled into Matchmaking Institute where I took their course starting in May of 2021 and began connecting with other matchmakers around the globe and sitting in on their meetings. In January of 2022 my business plan was approved, and I officially became a matchmaker in February of 2022!

• What has been the most effective way of raising awareness for your business?

As of right now, connecting with other matchmakers has been the best way. I also try to be active on social media (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Tik Tok) to connect with other people through there. I am constantly looking for more ways to connect with others because technology allows us to do so!

• What have been your biggest challenges and how did you overcome them?

My biggest challenge thus far has been believing in myself. Let’s be real, no matter how many self-help books and inspirational quotes you read, some days your confidence isn’t the best. I even took a break from training because I second guessed myself, but the desire remained. I saw other successful matchmakers who seemed to be matching people with ease. I had to remind myself that I AM A BEGINNER! The other matchmakers have been doing this for yearsss. Some of them have been matching people longer than I’ve been alive. I had to literally talk to myself and remind myself that not only can I do it, but I will do it and I will be successful at it, but I will be successful according to my standards. I’ve taken some time to fast, pray, read more self-help books, get off social media, speak to other matchmakers, watch helpful YouTube videos, and ultimately just do it! I learned that the people who were successful in anything wanted it bad enough to do anything to accomplish their goal, and that’s what I’m going to do!

• How do you stay focused?

I have a planner that I use that keeps me organized and on track. Some days when I get sidetracked, all it takes is for me to glance at my planer and remember the things I have to do and the goals I set for the week. I also have an accountability partner, my best friend Val. She does a great job of calling or messaging me to see what I’ve done for the day and if I’ve hit my milestones. She will also get on me about spending too much time on social media (it’s easy to go down that rabbit hole). Some days are better than others when it comes to being focused, but those two things in addition to putting away my phones and working in a clutter-free space are usually what helps me.

• How do you differentiate your business from the competition?

One of the things that differentiates my business from other matchmakers is that I gear towards mostly Black individuals. When I did my initial research before I started training, I realized that most of the matchmakers in my area as well as around the US had mostly pictures of White women or men on their websites. I thought “What about the Black people who need help finding love too?”.

I wanted to create a space that exudes Black love, even if that love is interracial (because I understand love comes in all colors). Additionally, I don’t just work with clients in the Dallas area because I also understand that someone from Dallas’ “true love” could currently live in Kansas City. I’m an advocate for long-distance relationships (for those who are willing to make it work) because I believe that when you limit yourself to who’s around you, you’re limiting your possibilities of real love. Technology has definitely provided us with opportunities to stay connected around the world, and as a matchmaker I want to help connect people in different locations and give them the tools to make those relationships work.

• What has been your most effective marketing strategy to grow your business?

I would say learning how to be vulnerable is what I’m currently learning. You have to not be afraid to put you and your business out there on social media and in Facebook groups. The worse thing someone can do is say “No, I’m not interested”. My coach has told me to keep looking for no’s because somewhere in there will be a yes. Of course, we don’t strive to get no’s but understanding that you will get some along the way can help you prepare. I am also learning that it’s okay to ask for help in areas you aren’t an expert in. I will ask other people their marketing and business strategies and if I need help, I ask them if they can walk me through it. Also, don’t underestimate the power of learning from a YouTube video! Those tools have been what is currently helping me grow my business.

• What's your best piece of advice for aspiring and new entrepreneurs?

I would advise that new entrepreneurs go for it! If there is something that you are passionate about and can’t stop thinking it about it, then go for it. Obstacles will come but make sure you aren’t your own roadblock. Learn the people you can be vulnerable with about your dream, who will hold you accountable and support you, and those who (sometimes with good intention) will try to talk you out of your dreams. Get yourself your own “Magic Journal” and write down EVERYTHING you wish to accomplish. They say the first step to accomplishing a dream or goal is to write it down!

• What's your favorite app, blog, and book? Why?

One of my favorite apps is Pinterest. Pinterest has so many great ideas for your business or even for your personal life. I sometimes sit and scroll through Pinterest as if it was Instagram! I don’t read too many blogs, but I will say that the blogs on Step Into Success Now by Candy Motzek (who is also my coach) are very inspirational. She talks about real issues on her blogs for coaches and other entrepreneurs and they’re easy to read without a bunch of fluff. One of the books that I’ve read recently and gained a lot from was “Girl, Stop Apologizing” by Rachel Hollis. She also tackled some very real issues I was dealing with like confidence and this idea of “just do it”. Each chapter I read I grew more and more inspired and in the end I wanted to hug her and tell her thank you! I would recommend that book to anyone that wants to start a business or do something that seems “too big” for them.

• What's your favorite business tool or resource? Why?

I love Wix. It’s easy to use with useful integration tools like the blogging or shopping feature. I even created my logo using Wix and it was easy to create a website from that logo. I also created my own website (this is coming from someone with no design experience), but it wasn’t too difficult because of the various tools they provide to add on each page. I also love Fiverr. For anyone who is not familiar, Fiverr (fiverr.com) is a website that allows you to hire freelancers to do various things for your business. Don’t let the price of services fool you, the work is legit! I have had help creating another website, creating a banner for YouTube, and gaining followers for Instagram. All three experiences were great!

• Who is your business role model? Why?

I LOVE Rihanna. Not only is she a music boss, but she is also dominating the beauty, skin, and lingerie industry! To me, she is the definition of turning your passions into a career and I’m working towards being like her in my own way. You never know what she’s going to do next, but you know that she’s passionate about it, not just doing it to make money. And she’s doing all of this without attending business school which is inspirational to me because I also do not have a business background. She strives for quality, wanting to help people feel confident in their skin or body and has created diverse products that no other companies have created, reaching an untapped and starving market.  

• How do you balance work and life?

Work-life balance is not easy to achieve. Some days are more work while some days are more life, which I believe is a part of the balance process. In my planner I not only write down my work plans for the day but also some relaxation time and whatever else I need to do for the day like cleaning, watching TV, or hanging out with friends. Those are just as important to me as meeting work deadlines!

• What’s your favorite way to decompress?

I love to laugh, so doing anything that makes me laugh is my favorite thing to do. Hanging out with my friends is always a good time filled with laughs. I also like to watch comedic shows (right now I’m watching Abbott Elementary) or scroll through Twitter or Tik Tok to see funny memes. Besides that, I enjoy spending time with my family, spending time alone with a good book, or listening to some good music.

• What do you have planned for the next six months?

Over the next six months, I plan on continuing to grow my business and hopefully be featured on some blog posts and podcasts. I want to continue to get the word out about my business and see the growth. I also want to connect with other coaches, matchmakers, and entrepreneurs. It’s great having people in your circle who are committed to helping the world. 

• How can our readers connect with you?

For those that are interested in connecting with me, you can email me at azia@fireanddesiremm.com or visit my website at www.fireanddesiremm.com. You can reach out with questions, comments, or anything!