We find ourselves going through so many different battles as parents that when our child has done something, we feel we are to blame. Ultimately, we've raised them to be a certain way and if they've gone against the grain and have done something that we consider particularly bad, we are going to blame ourselves. But when we hear that our child has done something not just bad, but illegal, this can throw up a multitude of emotions. But what can we do if our child has committed a crime? How can we help our children?
Going Through the Legal System
Not all crime is created equal. It all depends on the nature of the crime. And when our child has been accused of a crime we've got to take a measured approach, especially if it is vital that we bring in a criminal defense attorney. There are criminal defense attorneys with tons of experience they can guide you through the system. It is important to remember that the punishment always fits the crime. But it's also crucial to remember that your state’s laws will determine whether you are held liable or not. A very good example is if your child skips school too much- you could be charged with a truancy related crime.
Coming to Terms With What Has Happened
As parents, we can feel a wide variety of feelings associated with shame or guilt. If there is media attention or social media attention, this can add another layer of complexity and unwanted attention. We can feel that we are being judged. And when we start to encounter these situations, we have to take records of what has happened and get assistance from the police.
Working With Your Child
This may have been the straw that broke the camel's back or it may have been a bolt out of the blue. But when our children commit a crime, we need to work with our child, either to rehabilitate them or to make them understand the errors of their ways. As we've already stated, the punishment fits the crime.
In many cases, you may decide to dish out a certain punishment. But you may also want to look at your family in a holistic sense. Has there been anything that has changed in your child as a result of external circumstances or has there been significant changes in your family life? If it is the latter, you may want to think about ways to improve the quality of your life and provide a stronger family network. We've got to work with our children. And as reticent as they may be to repent or make any sense of apology, we have to remember it is not an immediate solution. Rehabilitation is something that takes a long time.
It is one of the most excruciating things that any parent can ever witness. It's not just about what the child has done, but it's a reflection on what the parent could have done to sidestep this. But there are ways to deal with this.