"Don’t expect to make a fortune right away" with Jen Lawrence
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Jen is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® professional, who helps her clients through the process of divorce. She specializes in coaching women who have supported their husbands’ successful careers navigate divorce. She helps her client move from feelings of overwhelm to the business of divorce and provides clarity about finances and the divorce process. She’s also a CDC Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach™ and can help clients design a post-divorce life that excites them.
Jen has an MBA in Finance and worked in consulting and investment banking, prior to staying at home to raise her children. After her unexpected divorce, she pivoted to freelancing writing, speaking, and consulting, and has written a number of articles for HuffPost, Today’s Parent, and Toronto Star. She co-authored Engage the Fox, a book about decision making and critical thinking, and can help her coaching clients make sound, long-term decisions at an emotional time.
Can you tell our readers about your background?
I’m a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® and a CDC Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach™. I’ve also completed my Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® certification and have a background in banking, so I can help my clients better understand their finances and improve their money mindset. I’m the co-author of Engage the Fox, a book that teaches business leaders and management students how to think critically and make better decisions. So much of divorce is about making decisions under stress, so expertise in critical thinking comes in handy! Most importantly, however, I’ve been divorced twice so I know first-hand what my clients are experiencing and how much easier the process is with someone knowledgeable in your corner.
What inspired you to start your business?
My first divorce, over a decade ago, was really hard even though it was quite amicable. I’d been blind-sided when my husband left and found it so hard to make good decisions at such an emotional time. I relied too heavily on the advice other people and ended up with a settlement agreement that, while fair, was overly complicated. I could have saved a lot of time and money had I taken a different approach. I was also so wrapped up in the divorce process that I did not take the time or emotional energy to heal. I rushed into a couple of less-than-ideal relationships and then a second marriage.
Three years into my second marriage, my then-husband called me from the airport to tell me did not plan on coming home from his business trip. That same day, his change of address card arrived in the mail. One might think I’d have fallen into a heap on the floor, but instead, I went into autopilot, interviewing lawyers and mediators, figuring out my money situation, and getting value on the family home. I was acting as my own divorce coach, based on my experience with divorce the first time around. Instead of scrambling around trying to figure out what to do, I could simply focus on moving through the process and, more importantly, on my healing. The difference between the two divorces was so remarkable that I wondered how I could use my knowledge to help other women surprised by an unwanted divorce. The idea for Designed Divorce was born.
Where is your business based?
I live in Oakville, Ontario, which is a leafy commuter town outside Toronto. But my practice is global, thanks to Zoom.
How did you start your business? What were the first steps you took?
Once I decided to become a Divorce Coach, I researched the backgrounds of other coaches. A number of the coaches I admired had received their CDC Certified Divorce Coach® credentials, so I worked to obtain mine too. I knew that I wanted to help women gain clarity around their money issues since that’s such a cause of stress. I have an MBA and knew a lot about finance but wanted specific training in money and divorce, so I also became a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® professional.
Once I had the letters behind my name, I started writing and speaking about women and money and divorce. I’d been working as a freelance writer, so that part came quite naturally to me. Where I hit a wall was marketing, so I hired a marketing consultant to work with me on my branding, website, and social media. I was used to bootstrapping things as a freelancer so hiring someone felt like a leap of faith, but the results were more than worth it!
What has been the most effective way of raising awareness for your business?
If you have a good story that demonstrates why you are passionate about your work, that will resonate with clients. For me, being able to act as my own divorce coach made me see first-hand how much smoother the process is when you aren’t trying to do it all on your own. It also helps that the impetus for my business was kind of funny, even though it did not seem so at the time. I mean, who has their marriage ended via a phone call from the airport. I could barely hear my ex over the boarding calls: “flight 428 to Topeka is now boarding at gate 12.” It’s absurd. But I think that sharing my story makes me relatable and gives my clients the comfort that I really understand how they feel. I believe that if you have an authentic story that connects you with your potential clients, and are able to amplify that story through effective marketing and PR, your business will thrive.
What have been your biggest challenges and how did you overcome them?
The biggest challenge is that Divorce Coaching is a relatively new profession. Some people think it’s just a fancy word for a life coach. While we use many of the same tools as life coaches, we are also able to provide our clients with a lot of divorce specific help such as clarifying their financial picture. Other people think that Divorce Coaches coach people to get divorced. To be clear, I’m not pro-divorce even though divorce has worked out well for my family. 25% of Divorce Coaching clients don’t know if they want to get a divorce or not and we walk with them through the divorcing reality. I chat with a lot of former stay-at-home moms who are now empty nesters who are bored and sad and think their husbands are the problem. Sometimes these women just need a hobby or a job! Other times, it’s clear that the husband is the problem and we can work together on an exit strategy. Divorce Coaches journey with our clients as they figure out the path that works best for them and their families.
Another challenge is that there is still a stigma surrounding divorce. People are afraid to reach out for help since they feel shame around the situation. My mission is to try to break that stigma. By demonstrating that there can be an amazing life after divorce, I’m hoping that women who are struggling in toxic marriages – or who have been left – will find the courage to reach out for help.
How do you stay focused?
I’ve always been a pretty focused person. I worked as a freelance writer for several years so I’m used to jumping on my computer and staying in the work zone. COVID-19 has made that more challenging since I have high schoolers at home competing for my time and the WiFi. I tend to get up really early while the house is quiet to do my planning, writing, and coaching program development, which requires a lot of focus.
How do you differentiate your business from the competition?
My background in finance gives me an edge since the number one worry of most divorcing women tends to be money. My critical thinking expertise is also useful since I have a lot of tools at my disposal to help clients cut through the emotional divorce fog and get to a place where they can make clear-headed decisions. I also like to have fun with my clients. Divorce is not an innately fun thing, but one can find humor in anything. When a client is able to laugh, I know we are making progress.
What has been your most effective marketing strategy to grow your business?
Social media is powerful. I was a pioneering mommy blogger back in the early aughts and learned the power of connecting with new people on an emotional level online. If potential clients can get to know you and your story, and find you authentic, they are more likely to trust you with their business. Since then, the social media landscape has become very complicated, so I rely on my marketing consultant to guide my efforts. Right now, Pinterest and Instagram seem to have a lot of lift.
What's your best piece of advice for aspiring and new entrepreneurs?
Don’t expect to make a fortune right away. The average divorce coach takes 2-3 years to develop a thriving full-time practice. While one can shorten that process through focused marketing efforts, it takes time to get known in the marketplace. With divorce coaching, there is also a time lag from people being curious about your services to make the decision to hire you. Divorce is a major, life-altering decision, so people aren’t going to see your coaching services on Instagram and make a purchase the way they might with a sweater or handbag.
What's your favorite app, blog, and book? Why?
For apps, I love Canva. It’s so easy to use to make graphics to walk through theoretically concepts with my clients like the stages of grieving or the “guilt window.” I adore the blog savespendsplurge.com since the author has a similar money sensibility to me: money in the bank and a Chanel bag on your shoulder. I also read a lot of Parisian style bloggers since I really miss Paris and travel. A book I return to again and again is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I first read it in university and revisit it every few years. I find it useful in both business and in my personal life.
What's your favorite business tool or resource? Why?
I love LinkedIn as a source of information. It’s a great place to connect with other divorce professionals who might be a source of referrals. And as a source of business news, it’s brilliant without all of the drama of other social media like Twitter.
Who is your business role model? Why?
I love Arlene Dickinson from Dragon’s Den. She is an entrepreneur who has encountered setbacks after setbacks but never gives up. My clients also act as my role models too as I see them doing the work and pushing through even on days I know they don’t want to.
How do you balance work and life?
As a lot of people have discovered over the last several months, it’s tough to balance things when you work from home. I’m lucky to have a home office with a dedicated laptop, monitor, and camera system set up for coaching calls or doing interviews. That’s my work laptop and I’ve created a boundary by only using it for work. If I want to mindlessly scroll at night to relax, I use my iPad so I’m less tempted to continue working.
What’s your favorite way to decompress?
I love to read. Digging into a novel or reading the latest issue of Elle or Harper’s Bazaar or Town & Country puts me into a relaxed state of mind right away. I’ve also built a yoga room which sounds fancy but is really just a bunch of cheap yoga mats in a room in the basement. I’ll get some essential oils diffusing, call up a workout on YouTube, and escape mentally for 30 minutes or so.
What do you have planned for the next six months?
My book, Design Your Divorce, is coming out in January. And after that, I’ll be launching an online course so that people who cannot necessarily afford my one-on-one coaching fees can still benefit from what I’ve learned about designing a divorce that will preserve your wealth and sanity.
How can our readers connect with you?
· Twitter: @designeddivorce
· Instagram @designeddivorce
· Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/designeddivorce/